Embracing being a SAHM

Summer of 2015 brought lots of emotions and waves of uncertainty for me. I started doubting myself and began to dwell on everything & anything. 

My boyfriend works grueling hours to support our family. He pays every single bill single handedly. I respect & admire him so much for everything he is, and every everything he does.

 Before him & I became a couple, had our son & made one family, I was a single mom working two jobs for my daughter & myself. One at the State School as a DSP & the other as a CNA for outpatient care. 

I worked over night and into the next full morning and hardly slept. But I paid all of my bills, my daughters daycare, my car all on my own. It was rewarding to be a single mom doing it on my own. I even purchased my first brand new car all on my own. 

Flash forward three years and I'm a stay at home mom of two. I began to feel degraded & useless. This mindset was seeping into my daily thoughts & poisoning my days. I felt a darkness shadowing over me and I started to pity myself. What was my purpose now?  Who am I now? I missed being that independent women holding down life single handedly. I missed people looking up to me and giving me positive feed back on my actions and how I was doing. I missed being important. 

How do you explain this to your long term boyfriend who works 12 hours a day? "I'm tried of staying home" you'll get the "id take your place in a heartbeat" reaction. Because honestly, who wouldn't? 

A few days ago I had an eye opening experience. Still in my slum it was the first day of school for my daughter. My boyfriend called in so we could take and pick up her up on her first day of second grade. I do things without thinking twice or giving notice. Got  myself up, woke up both kids, got their teeth brushed, fed, dressed, hair done, shoes on, checked back pack, drove to school, walked her to class, drove home, made breakfast.... And so on. My boyfriend was still trying to peel himself out of bed. 

Later we went shopping & my cranky toddler was just being...well, cranky. I could sense a tantrum coming on but I'm immune to them by now. Plus I'm pretty good at defusing them. But my boyfriend was losing his mind! "Does he always act like this? What's wrong with him? I just want to go home" I laughed and said "yeah. He's a toddler." 

Same thing at ihop that afternoon. Not to mention the glass of ice water my son spilled on us. My boyfriend was ready to go home the minute that happened. 

Then it hit me. Maybe he thinks he could do what I do, but honestly? He wouldn't last a day. I'm mommy: I'm an alarm clock, a personal assistant, a chef, an artist, a chauffeur, a stylist, a photographer, a teacher, a nurse, I am so much more than Ive ever been! I do have a purpose & I am important. 

My childern depend on me every single day. They need me. And to be needed, that's the most rewarding feeling. I still am independent, just in a different way. I am my own drive. 

I'm embracing this chapter in parenting and I'm grateful  I get to be the one to take full care of both my childern. No day cares, no babysitters, no grandparents. I get to experience every milestone, I get to kiss every boo-boo, I have all the crazy stories to tell, I have the most stains on my clothes, I get to enjoy this incredible bond of love & joy. 

Being a SAHM is no joke. Some days I want to pull out my hair from the root. Some days I crave adult interaction. Some days coffee doesn't seem like a strong enough drink. Some days I just want to stay in bed. But we dont get  sick days, paid vacation, pay checks, bonuses, insurance, benefits. Yet we are 100% taking care of these tiny human.

 Think about it, we feed, cloth, bath, teach them to: talk, walk, read, write, we commute them, we are their shadow until they are able to began doing something's on their own. But honestly, our childern will always be our childern. This job has a loooooong contract. 

Looking over right now at my son in my bed, he's clean, already bathed, teeth brushed, full belly, in his pj's. It's all because of me. Yeah, we work late too. I don't go to bed until both my childern are asleep & our apartment is clean, and everything's ready for the next day. No overtime pay here. 

Moral to all of this? Stay at home mothers are bad ass! We do it ALL & still cook dinner & craft up a birthday party with a migraine. Sure our clothes have stains & our hair might be a mess, but we're mothers & we embrace it with all its beautiful & messy glory. 

Homemade Sopaipillas.

Ingredients (10 to 12)

• 4 cups sifted flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1 tablespoon sea salt
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 1/3 cup warm water
• More vegetable oil for frying (at least 2 1/2 cups)

What to do: 

1. In the bowl whisk the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar together.

 2.Create a small ditch in the center and pour in the vegetable oil. 

Whisk in the oil. ( It will incorporate unevenly into little clumps, this is okay.

3. Gently pour in the warm water and knead the dough until it is smooth. gently knead in the bowl until the dough sticks together. Place on a lightly floured surface and continue until the dough is smooth.

4. Divide the dough in half, and seal each half in a zipper lock bag or plastic wrap to rest the dough while you heat the oil for frying.

5. Heat frying oil in a stove oven, or in a heavy duty frying pan, to around 340 to 350 degrees. The oil should be at least 2 inches deep.

6. Remove one portion of dough and roll out on a clean, flourless surface. Roll the dough to a thickness of 1/8 inch. Using a pizza cutter, cut the dough into squares approximately 4 X 4 for a nice restaurant look. (I personally don't mind frying up the extra triangles that are left.)

 7. Place a sheet of plastic wrap over the rolled out dough. It's very important the dough stay moist and not dry out, or it won't puff.

8. Gently place an individual square of dough into the hot oil. It should begin to puff up within about 5 seconds. I like to use a large spoon or tongs to carefully splash oil over the top, this really seems to help the sopaipilla puff. Once it's finished puffing up, fry until it reaches a light golden brown on both sides. Place in a large bowl lined with paper towels. Repeat with the remaining dough. Serve immediately with honey.

Kid friendly sushi

Sushi is a favorite between my boyfriend & I. Although our childern seem to look the other way. I've tried a few other recipes that weren't such a hit as this particular one, so I decided to share! 

What you need:

1-3 teaspoons Sugar

1/2 cup Jasmin rice 

Chicken breast 

Tempura mixture 

Nori sheets 

Cucumber

Carrots

Soy sauce 

•First prepare your rice. I boiled 2 cups water then added in my rice, covered & let sit on low for about 15 minutes, occasionally stiring so the rice wouldn't stick. I added in sugar as needed to make the rice sticky (and a little sweet)

 •While rice is cooking  heat oil, prepare tempura mix according to package and prep your chicken.

•Cut the chicken into thin skinny strips then dip into tempura mix. (Tempura mix should be thick & lumpy) and out into oil to try for about 4 minutes. Repeat until all chicken required is used. 

•Set aside & cool. 

•After rice is fully cooked, sticky & sweet, put into a bowl & let cool for about ten minutes. 

•While rice cools cut desired vegetables. I used cucumbers & carrots but you can hide others in this sushi dish. 

•Lay out nori sheet on a bamboo mat & spoon rice & flared with spoon about a third of the sheet.  Place chicken & veggies in the center of rice. 

•So you have something like the photo above at this point. 

***I'm not a pro at rolling so if you want to look this part up feel free. 

"Hold the edge of the mat with your thumbs. Start with the edge that has your first ingredient next to it. Lift the nori and fold it over the first ingredient. Make sure to keep the ingredients in place and that the rice sticks together. Continue to roll the sushi. Tuck the front edge of the nori into the roll, and remove the mat as you continue to roll the sushi. Roll slowly so that you ensure that the sushi is coming out even. Tighten the roll. You will need to tighten the roll to keep ingredients from falling out when you cut it. Remember to tighten the roll with your sushi mat often, but not too tightly. Roll the sushi roll back and forth in the mat to tighten and seal it." -http://m.wikihow.com/Roll-Sushi

after you roll your sushi this what it should look like: 

•Next cut your sushi into small pieces for your little ones & use an eel sauce for dipping. You can get about six-eight pieces per roll depending on how big or small you want the pieces. (Eel sauce is very sweet & will be a big hit) 

Eel sauce recipe: 

1/3 mirin 

1/3 white sugar 

1/3 sit sauce 

•Mix the three together over medium heat stiring frequently & bring to a boil before removing from heat. 

Potato Soup.

What you need:

8 tablespoons unsalted butter

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

3 1/2 cups milk, or more, as needed

6 russet potatoes, peeled and cubed

1/2 cup sour cream

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1/2 teaspoon garlic 

(Optional)

2 green onions, thinly sliced

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

• •Melt butter in a large stockpot  over medium heat. 
• •Whisk in flour until lightly browned, about. 
• •Gradually whisk in milk, and cook, whisking constantly, until slightly thickened, about 1-2 minutes. Stir in potatoes.
• •Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until potatoes are tender, (about 15-20 minutes.) 
• •Stir in cheese, sour cream, salt and pepper, to taste. If the soup is too thick, add more milk as needed until desired consistency is reached.
• •Serve immediately, garnished with green onion, cheese and bacon, if desired.

Enjoy!!

xo

Hot-Cheeto's Crusted Chicken

What you need: 

• one bag of hot Cheetos (only use half)

• I package of chicken tenders 

• 1/2 flour 

• pinch of salt

• pinch of garlic powder 

• pinch of paprika 

• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

• one large egg

• two limes 

• ranch dressing 

Tonight I was making my sticky honey  garlic teriyaki chicken tenders (say that ten times fast) & I kind of felt bored with my menu. I looked in my pantry to find something to possibly bread another batch in & change up the flavores. That's when I came across a bag of lime hot Cheetos & a light bulb just went off. I recently saw a buzzfeed blog about making hot cheeto crusted cheese sticks. So I knew it could be done. 

I took about half the bag and smashed that bad boy with a hammer. I could of used my food processor but this released some tension. (Lol.) I mixed in 1/4 cup of flour, a pinch of salt, pinch of paprika, pinch of garlic & 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. This made my dry batter. 

To coat the chicken so the mixture stays on I mixed 1 large egg with some ranch dressing & a squeeze of lime. Dipped in the chicken then placed it into the cheeto mix and patted it on both sides.

Next I placed the chicken in an ungreased pan.  They baked for about 35-40 minutes at 350. 

And these tasty bad boys were the result. For a dipping sauce I mixed 1/4 cup ranch & one teaspoon of fresh lime juice with a dap of avocado all mixed together. 

This recipe is unusually delicious and the flavor is great. I was honestly surprised when I took a bite and my mouth watered for more. Let me know if you guys try it out and let me know what you think. 

DIY Walking Dead Shoot

My love for zombies has no limit. Earlier this year we cut my daughters long locks into an adorable short manageable little do. After watching three seasons of TWD in three days... I noticed how much Rae looked like Maggie. A few days later we purchased a hat for Jasper & it reminded me of Glenn. 

Then it dawned on me. This would make such an adorable little shoot! I happen to have a really good camera too that I've been meaning to start utilizing. 

So this is the outcome!! I hope y'all enjoy! 

She had to get a photo with her dog. Lol